Irrational arguments: how to sell your point of view
You’re working with another org in coming up with a joint architecture for web-based applications. They want to use WebComponents, while you think React is the better way to go. They’re emotional about their choice, and don’t want to budge. How do you hold a rational discussion with these people?
Sound familiar?
The situation is a common cause of frustration and needless conflict. Now, I’m not saying that these types of issues are easily resolvable, and sometimes you’ll have to involve upper management and let them fight it out. And yet, there are things you can do to make a positive outcome more likely.
TL;DR
Here’s a distilled version of the rest of this article. Use it as a framework for further discussion:
- If you’re going to get into an argument, make sure it’s worth the cost to the relationship.
- If you’re going to get into an argument, bring allies.
- Involving stakeholders and directing conversation toward data will help you make your case.
- Make sure you are arguing with the right person. Focus on the decision-makers instead of investing into convincing folks who ultimately won’t affect the decision.
Assumptions
For the purpose of this discussion, I’m going to make a few assumptions:
- Overall your company is rational, and data matters.
- Engineering is willing to listen to other stakeholders, like PM and Marketing.
- Your Director is on your side.
… wait a moment. That #3 is actually problematic. Often enough the situation isn’t that another org is balking at your ideas, but that your coworkers are, or your Architect, or your Director. Let’s take a brief detour and examine that scenario first, and then see how we expand it to encompass the higher-scope, higher-stakes scenario.
Point 1: Five years from now, nobody will care
It’s unfortunate to see colleagues become oppositional based on some relatively silly technical argument. They argue with each other, filling the hallways (when we still went to the office) with…
